Kids these days

Some minor funnies from brother Chris:

When I came home for lunch today, Thomas told me "You're my camption!"Not sure what he meant, but he said it twice, so I know what he said.Champion?

The other day, we were watching the news, and they reported that the man who robbed a store in Waterloo was a 5'10 white male.I said,"hey, that's me, but I didn't do it!"CJ said, "You're not 5'10"I said, "I'm 5'10" with shoes on."Sean said "I'm Three."

I don't remember if I told you this one, but one day we were in the car,after shopping or something. We were discussing what to do next.I said, "let's go to bed, have ice cream and snuggle."Tina said, "shh, there's a kid in the back seat."Mackenzie said, "That's okay, I know you guys go to bed and have ice cream!"

Business Reform asks: Is it profitable to practice the Golden Rule?

http://businessreform.com/blog_detail.php?postsuccess=1&blog_id=3771

Many believe that financial success is achieved through hard-nose,
hard-driving, take-no-prisoners business practices.
This model does not include much room for human sensitivity.
Recently, researchers, using a human performance screening mechanism,
performed a study in which they identified 35 public companies that excel
at motivating their workers, and treating vendors and customers well.
In other words, these companies practiced the golden rule –
treat others the way you want to be treated.
Over a ten-year period, the return on investment of these companies was 758%
while during the same period the S&P 500 index gained only 128%.

What is your explanation of this result?

Posted by Gerald Chester on March, 21st 2006 00:36 EST http://businessreform.com/user_profile.php?user_profile_id=czo1OiIxMzIxMSI7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My explanation:
Happy (well treated, well motivated) employees are more productive.

PONDERISMS

Thank You , Martha for these-
PONDERISMS

· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

· Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure
you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

· The easiest way to find something lost around the house
is to buy a replacement.

· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

· Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.
I have come to realize that it bears a
very close resemblance to the first.

· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

· If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff,
why didn't he just buy dinner?

· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

· If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?

· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address.

St. Patrick's Day in the K.S.A. 15 years ago today!

Hard to believe it's been 15 years since Desert Storm.

March 17th was Sunday, and the first HOT day of the spring.
The war was decided, we were scaling down the 410th Evac.
and since the OR was quiet, in the afternoon, our section
rolled up the sides of our barracks tent to allow a dry breeze,
and lazed in lawn chairs or on our cots.

What made the day really memorable was something that
arrived in the mail that morning- as Sunday was just another
work day for most, and mail is a lifeline for soldiers.

Erik Dillard , a reservist from Omaha- like me,
got a small package from his sister containing
a cassette of Irish folk music, what perfect timing!
We must have listened to it for 2 or 3 hours,
resting in the shade of the tent,sipping lukewarm
diet pepsi or near beer, and chatting.

Erik's wife Julie was expecting a child, she had sent him a
video of the ultrasound which we saw a few weeks before.

John Cordry and Trent Mengel talked about their plans for
school when they got home, Jim Torbett was regular Army,
and ready to get back to family in ,Germany, I think.

Travis and Dave were from a reserve unit in Lubbock,
great Texans , both.
Curtis told some wild stories of his experiences in an
orthopedic hospital in KC.
Ron was a young kid easing his stress with quotes like,
"If only I had a shotgun, things would be different!"

Reid , Bob Roberts, and another guy
whose name I'm blanking on were from the Topeka area.
I never knew till I met these guys that there is such a
thing as a Kansas accent. Remember Ken Curtis as
Festus in Gunsmoke? That is a Kansas accent,
and these three had it in spades .

Oh, and spades? Yes we played that most days
(I have a deck of cards we about wore the spots off of
playing 'spades' and 'hearts') but not that day .
That day was for talking , thinking of home ,
and hearing songs from a green, green place.
The only green near Quasuma was on our uniforms,
it was refreshing to think about the Emerald Isle,
and the sweet green grass of Home.

Good Grief, it's been 15 years and I still
remember some of the words to "Nancy Whisky" ,
sort of an anti-drinking song when you look at
the lyrics, I remember it mainly for the distinctly
Irish sound of it .
Thanks to Google the lyric follows.

This time of year reminds me of the 100 or so days I spent in
Saudi Arabia with the 410th.

There's no place like home.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day.

NANCY WHISKEY

I'm a weaver, a Calton weaver

I'm a rash and a roving blade

I've got silver in my pocket

And I follow the roving trade

-

Chorus: Whiskey, whiskey, Nancy Whiskey

Whiskey, whiskey, Nancy-o

-

As I rode in through Glasgow city

Nancy Whiskey, I chanced to smell

I went in, sat down beside her

Seven long years, I loved her well

-

The more I kissed her, the more I loved her

The more I kissed her, the more she smiled

Soon I forgot my mother's teaching

Nancy soon had me beguiled

-

So I rose early in the morning

To slack my thirst, it was my need

I tried to rise, but I was not able

Nancy had me by the knees

-

So, I'm going back to the Calton weaving

I'll surely make them shuttles fly

For I made more at the Calton weaving

Than ever I did in a roving way

-

So, come all you weavers, you Calton weavers

Come all you weavers, where'er you be

Beware of whiskey, Nancy Whiskey

She'll ruin you like she ruined me

-

What strange cuisine...

This year we tried some Irish food,
It wasn't very good.
Why people get so excited about

Corn Dogs and Cabbage,

I'll never know...

Gas went up 10 cents today, who do we hate ?

http://finance.yahoo.com/columnist/article/yourlife/2973?p=1
More 'How not to Ruin Your Life'- Ben Stein
This guy has his finger on the future...
the article is datelined next Monday , the 20th!

The prices you pay for heating oil or gasoline aren't
set in boardrooms in Texas but in trading rooms at
commodities markets all over the world.
...So, when prices go up or down, it's not a conspiracy.
It's panic or confidence in the market.
It's just like what happens on the stock markets
every trading day -- greed or fear at work,
not at the companies being traded but on the exchanges.
The oil companies can either lose or gain from this trading.
... if we keep punishing the companies that in good faith
give us the energy we need to power our lives at market
prices -- which sometimes give them a big profit and
sometimes give them a small one -- eventually,
they'll go away. Or they won't have the ability
to do their jobs as well because of all the
restrictions we've put on them.

Standards of Life in the Future: Think Grim

Or- "To: Grasshopper From: Ant." By Ben Stein

Good, though grim article.From the
'How Not To Ruin Your Life' series
He doesn't include the biggest obstacle to accumulating wealth
- debt.

He probably mentions it in others in his series.
I look forward to reading it.

The first page carries a couple of tales of declining service,
I think it ironic that when the US started becoming a
'service economy', service went downhill!

The Best Oscar Night

I saw about 10 seconds of the opening titles
of the Oscars, and turned on the TV at about
10:30, just in time to hear John Stewart
tell everyone to drive safely on the way home.
Caught a link on Drudgereport.com to
see the results. A perfect Oscar night!

Chronicles

Rushing headlong through another week.

The eBay thing is working so-so.
I spent a lot of time for a little money,
need a better handle on what of our stuff pile
should be listed, and what should be in the
garage sale.

Soccer Tournament and Invention
Convention- regional this Saturday.
Libby's Tramp-o-tent idea moves on to the
next level.

Steve has a black eye from a baseball
that skipped off his glove at practice
Sunday and popped him in the cheek.
will post a photo , He looks like a
Tareyton cigarrette ad.

The last full measure of devotion.

On a postal worker eMail list, a lady from California told
us of the death of her son, SPC Clay Farr,a cavalry scout
from California with the 10th Mountain Division in Western Iraq.
The next day at work coworker Russ mentioned,
"Today is an anniversary for me,
40 years ago today I left for Viet Nam."
"Welcome home, Russ. "

I believe that every soldier lays his life down
when he raises his right hand, and signs his name,
most of us get to pick it back up again.
An article in the Bakersfield paper talks of
Clay's selfless, earnest desire to serve his
country and community which shows that his life was
'laid down for his friends' long before it was ended.

I pray God's comfort for all of Clay's
family and friends, and I thank God for Clay and Russ,
there will be a free America only as long as
there are men like them in it.
"Welcome home, Clay."