Thursday, August 31, 2006

Pinocchio and friends converted to Is – lam …

Angel reports:

Yo Pinocchio:
Convert, submit, or die..oh wait..aren’t you technically "dead" already?

Hmmm..what is the fate of those of us who prefer to be unconverted,
non-submissive, and errr…. alive?

Pinocchio, Tom Sawyer and other characters have been converted to Is–lam in new versions of 100 classic stories on the Turkish school curriculum.

"Give me some bread, for All–ah’s sake," Pinocchio says to Geppetto, his maker, in a book stamped with the crest of the ministry of education.

"Thanks be to All–ah," the puppet says later.
Pinocchio and friends converted to Is–lam continues…

In The Three Musketeers, D’Artagnan is told that he cannot visit Aramis. The reason would surprise the author, Alexandre Dumas.
An old woman explains: "He is surrounded by men of religion. He converted to Is–lam after his illness."

Tom Sawyer may always have shirked his homework, but he is more conscientious in learning his Is–lamic prayers. He is given a "special treat" for learning the Ar–abic words.

Pollyanna, seen by some as the embodiment of Christian forgiveness, says that she believes in the end of the world as predicted in the Ko–ran.

Heidi, the Swiss orphan girl in the tale by Johanna Spyri, is told that praying to All–ah will help her to relax."

Excuse me y’all for a minute while I don’t believe this.

Muzlim cultures including Pakistan, Somalia, Afghanistan, Gaza, Iraq, Algeria, and scores of others remain the most violent, brutal, and impoverished societies known to our existence.
And suddently they want to partake of the infidels’ "culture" now?

What I would give to hear the hard-core turbo lefties talking points on this one!
Free speech perhaps?
There’s only one hitch though.
We, here in er…"free" America can no longer mention
God’s name in a graduation ceremony.

How’s that for cannibalizing our civil liberties.

But this revolting plagiarism will no doubt be celebrated.Multi cultural Pinocchio!
Oh, here come the apologists and defenders.
We musn’t condemn the religion for the mere acts of a "few"?
And as for those who commit heinous acts "in its name"
…oh, that’s just a handful of "mentally ill" kooks eh.

Congrats to the lefties for spreading this ideological disease,
and guilt liberal mush which is spreading like a virulent plague as we speak.

Funny how the haters always use our inventions
-cars, planes, cell phones, to try to annihilate us.

Childrens books. The new frontier.Whooda thunk it?

Look for the following HappyJihadiFriends -brand books at a store near you...

In "Snow White and the 7 Little Mullahs ",
The dwarves placed Snow White in a glass coffin ,
then were crushed in the riot that occurred as her burka-clad corpse was pulled out of the coffin by throngs of frienzied mourners who sought a piece of the burka or a relic (body part).
Movie Still Photo : here

In "The Little Engine That Could, 'If Allah wills it' ",
The prayerful Little Engine carries its load of missiles, weaponized anthrax, and stolen Soviet plutonium to the good little Jihadis through a tunnel system under the US-Mexico border while chanting, " Remember af-GHAN-i-stan,af-GHAN-i-stan,af-GHAN-i-stan,af-GHAN-i-stan,af-GHAN-i-stan..."

Cover Photo: here

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

From the "Only Nixon could have gone to China" Dept.

Only Nixon could have gone to China. can go anywhere.

ScrappleFace -->August 29, 2006

One Year Later, Some Katrina Victims Still Slow to Respond
by Scott Ott
(2006-08-29) — One year after hurricane Katrina, despite an outpouring of billions of dollars from government, church and private charity, and countless teams of volunteers who have come to their aid, many residents of New Orleans have still failed to restore their homes and neighborhoods, or even to clean up the storm-tossed debris, according to House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-CA.
“Katrina was a tragedy in itself,” Rep. Pelosi said at a news conference in a neighborhood where moldy furniture still lay in front yards, “but it exposed a tragedy of greater proportions. Some people in this region have lost the spirit of our forefathers — the work ethic, the persistence, the determination to overcome adversity.”
The California lawmaker said that when she becomes the next Speaker of the House she plans to use her new prominence to tell Americans to “stop expecting the federal government to protect you from natural disasters, and to bail you out afterward.”
When reporters asked what might be learned in the aftermath of Katrina, Rep. Pelosi said there were at least three lessons.
“One: don’t buy a house between a lake and the sea that’s built below sea level,” she said. “Lesson two: if there’s a hurricane coming, get out of town. And lesson three: if your home gets wrecked, clean up the mess and start rebuilding — like many people on the Gulf Coast have already done — or at least rip it down, cart off the debris and start over on higher ground.”
Rep. Pelosi reserved her harshest comments for people who have “made a lifestyle out of blaming President Bush for everything.”
“Were you expecting President Bush to show up at your door and whisk you to safety in his armored SUV?” she asked rhetorically. “After the storm, did you think he was going to skydive out of Air Force One and start shoveling the junk out of your living room? Wake up and smell the personal responsibility. What have you been doing for the last 360 days? Get off your keister, organize your neighbors and get this mess straightened up.”
Asked if she was concerned that her remarks might be perceived as “less than compassionate,” the lawmaker said, “Compassion does not mean fostering a culture of dependency that leaves people vulnerable and helpless when the inevitable trials come.”
“Sometimes the greater part of compassion,” she added, “is challenging people to use their God-given abilities in a way that preserves their human dignity and strengthens them for the next crisis. “

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Pattern? We don't see no steenking pattern !!

From Patriot Post via UPI - United Possums International

Criminal [not "racial"] profiling and why it works :

In 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. a Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3.In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

And guess who just got arrested in Britain for plotting to bring down over a half-dozen airliners at once...Nope, ..I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?

So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone,
particularly fanatics intent on killing us,
airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people.
They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss,

but leave Muslim males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

"Some Pig", wrote Charlotte.

I was reading about the new Charlotte's Web
movie that's in the works,

A favorite book, I am reminded of my favorite farm story

that Uncle Walt told me years ago....

There is a traveling salesman driving down a country road.

As he passes a farm, he notices a pig
standing out in front of the house
with one wooden leg.

Several weeks later, this same salesman is driving down
the same road and passes the same house.

This time the pig has two wooden legs.

This is just too much for the salesman and he has to stop.

He knocks on the door and when the farmer comes to the door he asks

"What is the deal with your pig? Why does he have two wooden legs?"

"Well" ,the farmer replies ", let me tell you about this pig.
This is the most amazing pig that you have ever seen in your life.

Three weeks ago I was out plowing the fields,
and my tractor turned over pinning me underneath.

Well! This little pig heard me hollering for help,
ran out into the field and dug me from underneath my tractor!"

"Ok that is great." said the salesman
"but, what about the wooden legs??"

"Well, " said the farmer, " last week,
the wife and I were sleeping in the house
when we heard this banging at the window.

We woke up an looked out the window
and the back porch was on fire!

Thanks to the quick work of our little friend,
we were able to get out of the house and put out the fire.

If it hadn't been for our pig,
we both would have died in that fire!"

"Say, that is really fantastic," remarked the salesman
"but that still dosen't explain the wooden legs!"

"Let me tell you , son."

Said the farmer, picking his teeth.

"A pig that good, you don't eat all at once."

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Leisure Suits, Rainbow Afros, 8-Tracks and Disco...

Will fantasy football seem as
as disco in 10 years?

A letter writer to Sports Illustrated thought so this week ,
in response to the huge Fantasy Football issue of SI
- that I missed out on at the newstand. Rats.

I hate the thought of pony-ing up 6- 9 bucks for another fantasy draft guide that was printed two months ago, so I'll glean what info I can online from some reliable sources and get the Real scouting report from my sports crazed 14 year old son.
Will FF be as popular as disco is in ten years?
Perhaps, but draft day is tomorrow,
so it's time to pre-FUBAR* my draft order
so I can start off in a hole like I did the last two years.
(A 1-4 start in 2004 and 2-3 in 2005, though I ended up as runner-up both years )
This year the draft will be more critical,
I think, as there are 14 teams in the league and the good waiver
picks and up and comers will be tougher to snap up.
Fantasy football, gone like 8-tracks?

Maybe someday, after all, the phrase
"this too shall pass"
has nearly universal application.

But now it's time to pick a team name:

Two years ago it was "Holy Moley" - a favorite phrase
of the Huskers late radio man Lyle Bremser.
Made the final game... and lost.

I chose 'Possum Lodge' last year ,in Red Green's honor.
Made the final game again... lost again .

I'll continue on this season with the Lodge motto as the name:
"Quando Omni Flunkus Mortati ".
(When all else fails, play dead)

Hmmmm only 20 characters allowed.
"QuandoOmniFlunkus..." just fits.

When all else fails... OK . That works.

Got to customize a Yahoo avatar, more fun than the
15 or 20 helmets you get to choose as a logo.
There we go, a reasonable facsimile of me-sort of-

with a rainbow afro wig,

just need a leisure suit to go with it.

Now I'm ready for some football!


Sunday, August 06, 2006

4 nights in Minneapolis, a day at Water Park Of America, a day riding at The Park at M.O.A. , lots of swimming at the hotel, results in 3 exhausted kids.

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