SIXTEEN WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL
- 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
- 2. You have to believe that business's create oppression and governments create prosperity.
- 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran , China and North Korea .
- 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
- 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
- 6. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
- 7. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- 8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
- 9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
- 10. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
- 11. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
- 12. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, or Abraham Lincoln.
- 13. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
- 14. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
- 15. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
- 16. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
- oops, can't do that either!
How about these??
17. Clamor against conservatives for stifling democracy , then
a: worship at the feet of Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, and
b: allow an unelected, unaccountable oligarchy of judges to block a vote of the people in Massachusetts on the sanctity of marriage.
18. Proclaim ,as the United States Senate Majority Leader, that the President of the United States is a 'loser', that the war is lost, and the men leading the fight are " incompetent"; while the only thing close to military experience your Viet-Nam-draft-eligible-student-deferred ass has was in a "political plum " Capitol Hill Police job guarding parking lots.
.... I was just going to blog about the Rodney Atkins concert, Navy Seal parachute drop, and fireworks at the College World Series opening ceremony tonight. Thanks a lot, Rick!